Condoms Every Time
Condoms are the only way (other than abstinence) to prevent STDs.
Use them every time you have sex, unless you are trying to conceive. If your partner gives you an excuse not to use a condom, it's up to you to protect yourself and push past his arguments...
In an advice column originally published on Advocate.com, editor Steven Petrow offers practical tips for getting past your partner's pleas to opt out of using a condom. "I know you’ve heard this before (I certainly hope that you have) but latex and plastic rubbers, when used properly (and yes, that’s key) with a water-based lubricant, provide a high degree of protection to each partner. But sometimes information alone doesn’t do the trick. If only. Instead of going to the experts (as Mr. Manners often does) I decided to ask a friend of mine who recently became infected why his knowledge of safer sex didn’t safeguard him:
“You can be armed with all of the information in the world, but it's much harder to put it into practice when you combine casual sex, alcohol and drugs and youth. My suspicion is that somewhere along the line I wasn't sober enough to do what I needed to do to protect myself, and there were enough of those nights that the statistical odds became stacked against me.”
So, how do I suggest you respond to these periodic ploys (and that’s what they are) to have unprotected sex? It would be facile for me to suggest that you just say “no.” Still, you can’t make sound judgments if you’re stoned, high, drunk, or toasted — and there’s no question that drug and alcohol use are closely linked with STDs.
For now, though, let’s take each of the objections to using a condom and do a little role-playing:
He says: “I can’t stay hard.”
The truth: It’s true that in a fair number of instances guys may lose their erections after suiting up. But there are a number of things you can do, like try different brands of rubbers — especially those that might not be as tight or as thick. More often than not, though, what you’re hearing (and seeing) is a self-fulfilling prophecy based on a psychological response (“I don't like to wear a condom”). To counter that, try making the unveiling and capture playfully sexy and fun. If your buddy loses his erection as soon as the glove goes on, go back to first or second base for a while to help him get (re)stimulated while gloved.
He says: “I’m too big.”
The truth: Condoms come in all sizes, my friend. Unless your partner is superhuman, there’s a condom for him. He doesn’t go shoeless because he’s a big guy, does he? He shouldn’t go without a glove, either. Among the jumbo-sized options are Trojan Magnum XL Lubricated, Durex XXL, and Kimono MAXX. Keep shopping for options until you find one that satisfies.
He says: “I’m allergic to latex.”
The truth: Indeed, some men are, but there are condoms made out of plastic (polyurethane) that provide protection against HIV and other STDs. Be sure to use a water-based lubricant with either latex or plastic gloves. And remember: Don’t use lambskin condoms since they don’t protect against HIV and other STDs.
He says: “I’ve been tested, I'm clean.”
The truth: First of all, a casual sex partner may not be 100 % honest about his status if he’s eager to get you into the sack. But even an Honest John can put you at risk — he may think he’s negative, but he may be wrong (which is a one of the primary scenarios for new infections). Generally, you must wait at three months since your last risk of exposure to STDs to be reasonably sure that you’re negative. (By the way, when’s the last time you were tested? If you’re sexually active, be sure to get tested on a regular basis — at least annually — if not more frequently depending on your risk factors.)
He says: “It’s a mood killer.”
The truth: Possibly, but be creative! If you plan ahead, a condom can be whipped out without losing your focus — or your state of mind. And given the choice, I’ll take a “mood killer” over the alternative.
Obviously it's not easy. If this were so easy, we wouldn’t be struggling with the consequences of tremendous volume of STDs annually. The CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new STDs occur every year in this country, half of those among young people aged 15–24. It only takes once. And the people you meet out and about (or online) for casual sex are all sleeping with other people where the same risk applies.
In other words, knowledge alone isn’t power. Vigilance is a necessary part of the equation."
Sizing the condom - making it fit (reduce slip or breakage)
Penis girth (not length) is the best way to determine condom size.
It is not complicated.
STEP 1: Grab a toilet paper roll.
STEP 2: Slide it onto your favorite erect penis.
STEP 3: Too tight? Too roomy? Just right?
Too tight: he's a large
Too roomy: he's a small
Just right: he's a medium
Shopping tip: you can order sized condoms from luckybloke.com or amazon, to name a few
Condoms are the only way (other than abstinence) to prevent STDs.
Use them every time you have sex, unless you are trying to conceive. If your partner gives you an excuse not to use a condom, it's up to you to protect yourself and push past his arguments...
In an advice column originally published on Advocate.com, editor Steven Petrow offers practical tips for getting past your partner's pleas to opt out of using a condom. "I know you’ve heard this before (I certainly hope that you have) but latex and plastic rubbers, when used properly (and yes, that’s key) with a water-based lubricant, provide a high degree of protection to each partner. But sometimes information alone doesn’t do the trick. If only. Instead of going to the experts (as Mr. Manners often does) I decided to ask a friend of mine who recently became infected why his knowledge of safer sex didn’t safeguard him:
“You can be armed with all of the information in the world, but it's much harder to put it into practice when you combine casual sex, alcohol and drugs and youth. My suspicion is that somewhere along the line I wasn't sober enough to do what I needed to do to protect myself, and there were enough of those nights that the statistical odds became stacked against me.”
So, how do I suggest you respond to these periodic ploys (and that’s what they are) to have unprotected sex? It would be facile for me to suggest that you just say “no.” Still, you can’t make sound judgments if you’re stoned, high, drunk, or toasted — and there’s no question that drug and alcohol use are closely linked with STDs.
For now, though, let’s take each of the objections to using a condom and do a little role-playing:
He says: “I can’t stay hard.”
The truth: It’s true that in a fair number of instances guys may lose their erections after suiting up. But there are a number of things you can do, like try different brands of rubbers — especially those that might not be as tight or as thick. More often than not, though, what you’re hearing (and seeing) is a self-fulfilling prophecy based on a psychological response (“I don't like to wear a condom”). To counter that, try making the unveiling and capture playfully sexy and fun. If your buddy loses his erection as soon as the glove goes on, go back to first or second base for a while to help him get (re)stimulated while gloved.
He says: “I’m too big.”
The truth: Condoms come in all sizes, my friend. Unless your partner is superhuman, there’s a condom for him. He doesn’t go shoeless because he’s a big guy, does he? He shouldn’t go without a glove, either. Among the jumbo-sized options are Trojan Magnum XL Lubricated, Durex XXL, and Kimono MAXX. Keep shopping for options until you find one that satisfies.
He says: “I’m allergic to latex.”
The truth: Indeed, some men are, but there are condoms made out of plastic (polyurethane) that provide protection against HIV and other STDs. Be sure to use a water-based lubricant with either latex or plastic gloves. And remember: Don’t use lambskin condoms since they don’t protect against HIV and other STDs.
He says: “I’ve been tested, I'm clean.”
The truth: First of all, a casual sex partner may not be 100 % honest about his status if he’s eager to get you into the sack. But even an Honest John can put you at risk — he may think he’s negative, but he may be wrong (which is a one of the primary scenarios for new infections). Generally, you must wait at three months since your last risk of exposure to STDs to be reasonably sure that you’re negative. (By the way, when’s the last time you were tested? If you’re sexually active, be sure to get tested on a regular basis — at least annually — if not more frequently depending on your risk factors.)
He says: “It’s a mood killer.”
The truth: Possibly, but be creative! If you plan ahead, a condom can be whipped out without losing your focus — or your state of mind. And given the choice, I’ll take a “mood killer” over the alternative.
Obviously it's not easy. If this were so easy, we wouldn’t be struggling with the consequences of tremendous volume of STDs annually. The CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new STDs occur every year in this country, half of those among young people aged 15–24. It only takes once. And the people you meet out and about (or online) for casual sex are all sleeping with other people where the same risk applies.
In other words, knowledge alone isn’t power. Vigilance is a necessary part of the equation."
Sizing the condom - making it fit (reduce slip or breakage)
Penis girth (not length) is the best way to determine condom size.
It is not complicated.
STEP 1: Grab a toilet paper roll.
STEP 2: Slide it onto your favorite erect penis.
STEP 3: Too tight? Too roomy? Just right?
Too tight: he's a large
Too roomy: he's a small
Just right: he's a medium
Shopping tip: you can order sized condoms from luckybloke.com or amazon, to name a few
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